MUST

All you salmiakki fans are in luck because today we have a salmiakki triple-feature.  I found three varieties of MUST salmiakki: Touch of Sea, Moods of Black, and Dark Shots.

Without further delay, let’s get to sampling these quality confections.

Because ordinary salmiakki just doesn’t taste salty enough, I was happy to see that the fine folks at Malaco have thoughtfully added sea salt to their Touch of Sea variety.  Cautiously, I tried a piece, and astonishingly I found it quite edible.  Don’t get me wrong, it’s one of the saltiest things I’ve ever tasted, but I was not even close to spitting this one out.  In fact, I might even be willing to snack on these if I have a glass of water near by.

 

Next up is Moods of Black.  Judging from the packaging, this looks like a standard salmiakki candy with nothing crazy added to it like sea salt or chili powder.  Feeling confident, I opened the package and tried a piece.  I’ll be honest, this one completely met my expectations; licorice: check, creeping salty salmiac flavor: check.  There’s not much more to be said about it.

 

The last entry today is Dark Shots.  These candies instantly reminded me of milk duds, which I actually like, so I had high hopes.  The outside did not taste unpleasant, and this only made me more confident that I would like these too, so I took the plunge and bit into one.  It actually tasted pretty good… at first.  After a few seconds, an unpleasant taste started to grow out of nowhere, eventually overwhelming everything else, and I was forced to spit it out.  I can’t describe the taste, because I’ve never had anything quite like it.  I really, truly can’t put it into words.

To wrap things up, my favorite of these three is definitely the Touch of Sea, but Moods of Black is also quite edible.  Dark Shots, however, hide a terrible secret in their center that makes them inedible.

Salmiac Mix

Once again, Alex “I’m too busy and important to blog about salmiakki”  has delegated this job to a subordinate.  “I’ve had my eye on this one for a while now,” he told me, referring to our latest selection:

As someone that once spent a week in Finland about 14 year ago, I feel that I am completely qualified to translate that as “Salmiac mix.”  It seems that the name doesn’t reveal much in this case (but then I guess it usually doesn’t).  I ripped open the bag and took a closer look:

Salmiac Mix appeared to consist of antacid tablets, pills, and chewable childrens’ vitamins.  Strange choice for a candy, I thought, but harmless enough.  After popping one of the discs into my mouth, I realized that the white powder covering all of the candies was not sugar.  I won’t lie; I spit the first one out, being totally unprepared for that salty coating.  After seeing this reaction, John tried one and managed to finish it.  Shamed, I tried again – this time one of the little pill-shaped pieces.  I made it past the salty coating to discover that it actually wasn’t terrible!  The pink and yellow pieces seem to have some sugar in them, while the other pieces are just salt and licorice.

Later that day, I thoughtfully offered Alex some Salmiac Mix.  “It’s not that bad,” I told him.  He grabbed a handful of the candies and put them in his mouth.  “Once you get past the salty coating,” I added.  You’d think he would be used to that overpowering salty flavor by now, but… his reaction suggested otherwise.

Salmiac Mix combines three tastes that are bad enough on their own: chalk, salt, and licorice into one unpleasant experience.  However, the addition of sugar makes the pink and yellow ones tolerable once you get past that initial salty rush.  Overall, it’s certainly not terrible, but that powdered ammonium chloride coating reduces the rating from edible to almost edible.

Jenkki

As one of Alex's unsuspecting subordinates, I have been given the painstaking task of tasting this particular type of Jenkki Salmiakki:

Now, my Finnish may be a bit out of practice - but thanks to Google Translate, I was at least able to determine what type of Salmiakki I was about to eat. Apparently, "chewing gum" translates to "purukumi", which is written on the packaging. Chewing gum you say? All I could think of was me playing baseball as a youngster with a bag of delicious Big League Chew.

Unfortunately, my daydreams disappeared immediately. The licorice scent burst out like a BP oil spill as I opened the packaging - and if it weren't for the Frozn variety covered earlier, this post would have ended long before I began writing it.

I spent a few minutes offering several friends some pieces (along with a chance to share their saliva with the garbage can) before I decided to enjoy some of my own, and I was surprised to find the taste bearable despite the dirty licorice smell.

The full-bodied licorice taste is overwhelming enough to mask the salty undertones. As with almost all chewing gum, the flavor does not last long enough to make you want to spit it out. Because of this, Jenkki earns the edible rating.

Alfmix Light Line

It’s always exciting to have a new team member come on board. Not only does the new guy help reduce the workload, but there’s a great chance that he’ll come with some new and exciting ideas. My company recently brought on a new developer, Greg, and I was as excited as ever. And not just because of the whole helping out and new ideas thing.

On the afternoon of Greg’s first day, I stopped by his desk to share some Alfmix Light Line gummy candies. Unfortunately, he had already been warned about me and my wonderful Finnish candies. But Greg was brave and dove right in, rhetorically asking “how bad could it be?”

“Bad enough for an OSHA violation,” a nearby coworker smirked, “just make sure you’ve got a chaser.”

Of course, by that point, the advice was too little and too late, and Greg had already started with one of the black square pieces. As he bit into the gummy candy, his confidence-filled expression slowly faded into bewilderment. The more he chewed, the more his expression turned to disgust. Within ten seconds, Greg rushed to the nearest trash bin and spit out the black candy, adding “ok, that was a mistake.”

Despite Greg’s bad experience, I started trying some of the other shapes.
• Yellow/Orange Ones – edible! They’re not very sweet, but they could easily pass a gummy candies
• Berry-shaped Ones – edible! Not berry flavored, more a subtle liquorice
• Square-shaped Ones – almost edible! This is the only one that Greg tried; at first, they weren’t too bad, but as he discovered, but the creeping salty liquorice flavor quickly makes them unbearable

If it weren’t for the square shaped pieces, this candy would pass for edible. However, it gets the almost edible rating.

Jenkki Frozn

I am surprised. Nay, I'm astonished. No, no... flabbergasted! Err, actually...  there's not a word in the English language that describes my sentiment after trying the Jenkki Frozn salmiac.

Brace your self, dear readers: the Jenkki Frozn salmiac gum is not only edible, but I'm still chewing on it as I type this very message.



And just to be clear, I have not yet intentionally seared my tongue in a desperate attempt to save pain on my quest for salmiakki. My sinuses are not blocked and I can smell scents as well as ever. And so far as I can tell, I still have functioning tastebuds.

When I opened the bag of Frozn gum, I was assaulted with the unmistakable aroma of menthol. If there was any doubt that my sinuses were clogged, a whiff of Frozn would have cleared them out. Like any other Finnish candy, I was a little hesitant to bite down on the gum, but decided to go all in. I chomped down on two of the square pieces and began to chew.

Within moments, my whole being was infused with menthol, almost as if I had taken a swim in a lake filled with Halls Coughdrops. But it wasn't unpleasant - it was actually soothing. Any hint of that dreaded salt flavor that accompanies Salmiac was overpowered by the intense menthol flavor.

And as far as gum goes, this one holds its flavor; I'm still chewing it and, while it doesn't have the same methol kick, the flavor is still there.

This rates as edible and halfway-decent!

Pirkka Salmiakki

There's nothing wrong with plain, ordinary, and run-of-the-mill, and in the world of Salmiakki, Pirkka seems to offer just that. There's no special packaging, special shapes, or special "features" like chili flavor. It looks a lot like the generic/store brand of candies that we have here in the states.

Cracking open the bag of liquorice revealed a bunch of penny-sized, diamond-shaped candies. They had a soft texture, but were a bit firmer than, say, a Twizzler.

When I popped one in my mouth, I was pleasantly surprised to experience a non-offensive liquorice taste. Chewing a few times reiterated the flavor, and my apprehension slowly turned to delight. Could it be... a piece of liquorice from Finland that wasn't awful!?

Alas, it was too good to be true. After about twenty seconds, a subtle, salty note started to appear and, within a few moments, completely take over. It quickly evolved into a deep "salt thirst," and I had no choice but to abort mission. The candy was spat out and I quenched my thirst with a full liter of water.

Although this was one of the more mild Salmiakki, the creeping salty sensation makes it almost edible.

Katjes: Hot Temptations

Now that I've not only remembered which Google account I used for this blog, but remembered that account's password, I can once again continue on my reviews of Salmiakki. Actually, the timing worked well; I've finally recovered from those toxic cookies.

I was recently invited to a "Hotluck" dinner party. In case the pun is not painfully obvious, it's a potluck party in which everyone brings hot and spicy food. I figured this would be the perfect opportunity to get rid of share some of the delightful Salmiakki.

Mmmm, mmm, mmm: a smiling model touching her lower lateral incisor with a long chii peper! Now if that's not sexy, then I don't what is. Good work, Katjes, you've actually managed to distract me from the fact that this is a bag of salty, spicy liquorice. I mean, for crying out loud: adding hot to salty liquorice is like adding a lawsuit to an insult that was added to an injury. But no matter, it was the perfect treat to bring to the hotluck.

I put the fish-shaped candy in a little bowl and snuck them on the snacks table next to the wasabi cashews and hot peanuts. Surprisingly, they actually looked like edible candy, and the sugar-like coating made them seem like a delightful mix of hot and sweet.

Of course, the only delight that came from the Hot Temptations was watching unsuspecting party-goers casually take a piece and pop it in their mouth. It would take a few seconds, but just about everyone gave the unmistakable what the hell did I just eat face.

Most were polite, and quietly chased the candy with something not awful tasting, while a couple people disgustingly said, "what kind of liquorice is that!?!" Actually, that's been my question all along.

For the sake of completeness, I did try the Hot Temptations at the party and, surprisingly they weren't too bad. Compared with the rest of the spicy food, they were pretty mild.  Oh, and that sugar-like coating I mentioned earlier? Salt, of course.

When paired with spicy foods, this rates as almost edible.