Friday, February 26, 2010

Black Domino Salmiakki-Chili Cookies

I'm not going to lie. When I saw this box of Oreo-esque cookies, my eyes lit up like... well, whenever I see a box of Oreos. I mean let's face it: in the world of cookies, the Oreo is the ruler of the pre-packaged kingdom. Every other cookie may as well exist only to remind us how great Oreos are.



Not being a brand-snob, I almost equally appreciate the knock-off Oreos (Kid O's, Tuxedos, etc), and the Domino cookies look just like your average, chocolate-filled generic. As you can immagine, I had some high hopes that they would be edible food.


Opening the package of cookies not only filled me with disappointment, but disgust. There was an overpowering odor that erupted as soon as I pulled apart the cellophane. With the uncontrolled gagging, it took me a little while to realize what exactly it smelled like. And then it hit me: polyurethane.


That's right, polyurethane. And I feel somewhat qualified to say that, as a few weeks ago, I had my hardwood floors refinished, and the whole house reeked of it. Now exposure to polyurethane isn't too toxic, but it does leave your eyes itchy, your breaths a little short, and a massive, hangover-like headache. And thinking back, that was actually a much more pleasant experience than eating the Domino cookie.

From a texture standpoint, biting into the Domino cookie was like biting into any other Oreo-like cookie. At first, the taste was unbearable. And then it got worse. I've never tasted dirty polyurethane before, but this is what it must be like. I couldn't even tell what was more offensive: the outside cookie part or the inside cream.

The worst part about the Domino cookie is that, like any Oreo-like cookie, the cookie part hangs out in your teeth for a while. I tried rinsing, gargling, and even chewing on a paper towel. Nothing seemed to remove the taste. In fact, almost a day later, I can still taste polyurethane. Maybe it's just a phantom taste, but seriously, cookies shouldn't do that to you.

One great thing about this cookie, though, is that it looks just like real food. I can't wait to slip these in a plate of chocolate Oreo cookies and watch the ensuing vomit-fest from unsuspecting cookie-takers.

Rating: inedible.

66 comments:

  1. Since I don't like Oreos, I find the idea of something like Oreos but that tastes worse to be truly frightening. And now it hits me - the subconscious urge to leave Europe that drove me over 5,000 miles to my current home in Oregon must have been to escape the horror of the salmiakki unter-Oreo.

    And I didn't even know what Oreos were then.

    Ia! Ia! Salmiakki-Niggurath!

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  2. Note that this is just one rare novelty variety of Domino cookies. (I have never noticed these in my local shop, and believe me, I like cookies.)

    The "standard" Domino cookies are chocolateish with vanilla cream filling. Presumably much like Oreo cookies. See http://www.lu-suomi.fi/domino/domino.cfm

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  3. Lawdy. It's like watching a car wreck / train wreck / Demolition Man. I hope your health holds out longer than the candy.

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  4. The "standard" Domino cookies are chocolateish with vanilla cream filling. Presumably much like Oreo cookies.

    I recall the biscuit on regular Domino cookies being (brown and) a bit softer than that of an Oreo cookie, but yeah, they're basically the same kind of thing.

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  5. Although as a dutch, I love "drop" (our version of likorice/salmiakki), this is hilarious. Can't wait till you try feeding the uninitiated using some camouflage such as regular oreo's. Take pictures!

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  6. addendum: captcha was viess, vies in dutch means "dirty" or "having a foul taste". I think this server is growing a subconscience...

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  7. I hear they go very well with coffee.

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  8. I'm from Finland and I love Salmiakki, but these are truly an abomination. I'll never taste one again.

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  9. You should try the IFA pastilles some time soon, they're amazing. Apparently meant as lozenges/cough drops, but better as candy.

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  10. I love liquorice, but these are awful. No one should be forced to eat any.

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  11. I must concur. I live in finland and love salmiakki (ammonium chloride that is).

    Yet, these dominoes are a abominations both ways, as a cookie and as a salmiakki and they are only paralled by pink dominoes which were launched at the same time.

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  12. You have Ufos? I love them! You must try them, you must! Also Fazer's Super-Salmiakki is delicious, omnomnom!

    And as some others has said: you MUST take pictures or a video of yourself when eating those.

    Salmiakki is propably the best candy in the whole world <3

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  13. There are basically 3 things you can do decent candy of: sugar, chocolate and ammonium chloride. Most of the people in this world are missing so much, I tell you...

    I hope there's a tube of Lakrisal in that pile, the purest form of salmiakki I've tasted so far.

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  14. It's not the salmiakki, it's that CHILI part that worries me!

    UFOs? Delicious! Last time I ate those was probably in the 90's, I didn't know they still make 'em. Lakrisal is my favourite nowadays.

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  15. Believe me, "chili" part is only on the box. One must have blessed with a golden tongue in order to taste it.

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  16. I love salmiakki and Dominos. But phew, salmiakki-Dominos taste horrible.

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  17. Oh man, this is the best stuff on the internet in years. As an old salmiakki-junkie I have tasted many kinds of salmiakki, but these horrifying inventions were just too over-the-top. I HATED these, and if I had to choose over losing my whole family and tasting these crapcakes again, I think I would have to choose the genocide.

    Oh, as a friendly warning:

    Quite a bit of Finnish women tend to prefer salmiakki over chocolate. If you marry one, this might explain a lot of scary occurrences during the later years.

    Beware the salmiac-people!

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  18. This one got rated correctly, although I like dominoes and salmiakki. This is just one combination that doesn't taste right. I just hope you acquire a taste for salmiakki before you run out of it.

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  19. I've tasted Oreos few years ago - they are dogshit if compared to novelty Dominoes. These salmiac-chili Dominoes are no good rip-off and should be taken off the shelves.

    Too bad those fellas did not send you the salmiac marinated pork made by HK Ruokatalo. If you are ever coming to Finland, I think I and other Finns are ready to arrange salmiac-pork barbeque party for you ;)

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  20. Somehow you managed to try the two worst products from the Salmiak attack -package. Salmiak chokolate is not really worth of eating either.

    But beware, it takes something from 10-30 times to get used to a new taste, and you have better products coming up. You even might start to like it... And if you do, stay honest ;)

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  21. That salmiakki-marinated pork was the worst idea ever. And this is coming from a salmiakki-lover.

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  22. @burgeri

    Well salmiakki pork was a lot better than these salmiakki dominos

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  23. I really don't know who eats these, even here in Finland. Salmiakki is good, but these..

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  24. This is hilarious! I will certainly be checking back here to see Alex's adventures with salmiakki. Over a decade ago, a Finnish friend sent me some. At first I thought it was the most vile thing I ever tasted. After a few months, though, I actually started to crave it. Long story short, in my quest to obtain more salmiakki, I befriended a Finnish man and eventually moved to Finland and married him (no, not just for his salmiakki). We're divorced now, but I still live in Finland, and can have salmiakki whenever I want it.

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  25. No new tastings? Seems like the guy has stopped this bashing page and has started to love salmiakki. Yummyakki?

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  26. I'm sorry but I have to ask but how serious can we take the reviewer? He doesn't look Finnish or have a Finnish name and it's quite well known that if you want to torment a foreigner to Finland you feed them salmiakki :-) I love salmiakki, it's in my blood. I tried the biscuits but my biggest disappointment is in the name: I was hoping chilli meant hot and I was severely disappointed.

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  27. Hey Alex! Time to taste some more! I mean, it's several day since the last post :)

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  28. TEH PEOPLE DEMAND MOAR!!!

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  29. hey, did I subscribe to this rss feed for nothing? keep eating! keep posting!

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  30. Maybe the last one killed him.

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  31. Man, this blog is great, but I'm kind of disappointed. I HATE salmiakki, but I'm eating tons of it these days because I'm on a quest for the most disgusting variety. Yesterday I bought a box of Domino Black and I was so excited to try the worst-cookie-ever! Then I opened the bag and .. what? no awful smell? Where's the polyurethane? where's the ammonia? where's the chili, for goodness sake! I tried a little piece of a cookie and, well, it's not something I would enjoy eating, but they didn't taste particularly bad. After eating 4 or 5 I felt kind of sick and I could hardly have any dinner, but the effect was very subtle. I think you've tried rancid Domino cookies.

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  32. This blog is glorious. Please post more!

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  33. I'm so sad about this cause the original Domino bisquit is my favourite and anything else is raping the tradition.

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  34. Come on Alex, where's the next blog entry? It's been nearly two weeks!

    You've got 136 followers listed, anxiously waiting for more.

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  35. What's going on? Has he given up already? What a shame ;)

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  36. This blog is very original and very funny. It's interesting to know about the traditions of other countries.

    Please post some more reviews on Salmiakki!!!

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  37. Has salmiak taken it's toll? Has Alex found he's superior? Is the devious plan of two Finnish guys succeeded? We might never know the whole truth...

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  38. Ok even as a Finn I gotta agree with you with these on some way. They are edible, but after one package I'd rather not buy any more.

    But come on, don't stop now. Go on, I'd like to read more of your adventures into Salmiakki.

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  39. MOAR we need MOAR Salmiakki reviews.
    Where is the aforementioned Salmiakki trickery?

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  40. So are you done with this, or what? Didn't last long.

    Adding more text here to see if that's what's blocking comment submission.

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  41. I guess you have had enough already. You could still try to get your friends taste different kinds of salmiakki.

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  42. This blog showed great potential to be funny... Too bad it failed on keeping the posts coming... Feeling disappointed :(

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  43. More updates!!!

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  44. Did you forget this or just started to think that all salmiak is crap just because you tasted the worst possible cookies ever made that even salmiakki lovers dont touch? Or those firewood candies that are something most people try once and then never byu again.
    shame, this blog showed great potential.

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  45. Death by salmiakki, I see...

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  46. PEOPLE DEMAND MOAR!

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  47. Salmiakki Vodka, that's probably one of the best things in the world. You have materials there: take the original Turkish Pebbers, crush them to smooth powder, mix with vodka, let sit for few weeks, enjoy :)

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  48. Salmiakki sure is dangerous. Some of that candy he has contains around 7% ammonium chloride. And it's LD50 is 1.65 g/kg. So if you weight like 75 kg you can die from eating a bit less than 2 kg. EU has rated Ammonium Chloride as Harmful and Irritant.

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  49. to the one before me:
    I would like to see someone eat that much salmiakki and this is coming from a finn who loves salmiakki.

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  50. Where is more?! Im going nuts waiting, how hard is it to do it once a day or even week? geesh

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  51. Please don't say you've given up already. We've lost our confidence in you! :p

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  52. Alex, don't try to avoid this by trying to make people think that you have died from salmiakki.... we can still see you posting to the TDWTF!

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  53. Where are the updates?! It has been a month, yearning for more...

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  54. If you don't increase your post rate, some of the delicacies may become inedible (even in Finnish standards)!

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  55. Im Finnish, but I wouldn't eat these. Original Dominos are much better.

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  56. Being a Finn AND a salmiac lover, I couldn't eat these. So don't expect to be bashed by all the angry lovers of salty goodness. The regular, brown Domino cookies on the other hand are great. These are just bullshit.

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  57. Have bought and tasted these cookies. I don't hate them, but they are... well, not very good. How and why did they release a batch of cookies that everyone seems to find bad tasting?

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  58. my fecal waste was black after these cookies.

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  59. Ye im finnish too and these things are just shit. Normal dominos are great and all salmiakki is great, but not these. Great job with blog!!

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  60. I love salmiakki and usually like domino cookies too. But these salmiakki flavored ones.... I spitted it out from my mouth immediately after tasting one. YUCK!!! I hope they don't sell those anymore.

    Anna from Finland

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  61. ROFL. The last sentence of this post makes me want to go out and buy a box of Domino "cookies", then buy a box of Chocolate Creme Oreo cookies (chocolate-filled), then replace the chocolate filling of most of the real Oreos with the filling from the Domino "cookies". Put a few of the original Oreos in for myself so I can enjoy them and so that no one gets suspicious. Then watch with glee and enjoyment as everyone else gags.

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  62. Oh man, these look horrible. I agree with who ever said it already: Dominoes are actually better than Oreos. But only the vanilla ones (and mints, my favorite). They are testing too much nowadays with the new flavors, and as much as I love salmiakki, you really should put it in everything. Maybe the only post I agree with in this whole blog. These reek of "unedible".

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  63. I Haven't seen these in shops in about a Year and half now and I'd be willing to pay 20 € for a box, they aren't cookies they are Bliss

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