Monday, October 18, 2010

Ruining a Perfectly Good Bottle of Vodka

Our journey to the dark side of Finland — home-made Salmiakkikossu — has begun. What on earth is Salmiakkikossu? you may wonder: it's the unholy combination of Salmiakki and vodka.

While our original Finnish friends (Pekka and Toni) were insightful enough to send a small bottle, I thought it'd worthwhile to compare it to the home-made variety. A worse vs. worst competition, if you will.


Step One: Crush a Bag of Turkin Pippuri ("Turkish Pepper")
Don't forget to wear a respirator; remember, this stuff is toxic!


Step Two: Mix with Vodka
We went with Grey Goose, but any variety will do.


Step Three: Wait until it disolves
That is one unhappy goose.

I suspect it'll be a while before this concoction is ready, so stay tuned!

43 comments:

  1. It wont take too long to dissolve it, just keep sloshing it around. Also it is suggested that you put it in a freezer before enjoying it.It is good when the shot glass gets a frost on it when you pour.

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  2. It'll probably be ready tomorrow, it doesn't take that long. Shake to bottle from time to time to help the dissolving process.

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  3. One of the things I like about pepper vodka is that it tastes like how you imagine alcohol tastes when you're too young to have started drinking: knocking back a shot of Absolut Peppar from the freezer makes my eye twitch.

    This looks like it would make my head explode.

    There is a salmiak flavour of Fisherman's Friend lozenge too. Hmm.

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  4. Some people put the bottle with the vodka and crushed Turkish pepper for a round in the dishwasher, the hot temperature of the water helps to dissolve the candy more quickly. After the dishwasher round and a short drying and cooling time, the bottle is ready for the freezer.

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  5. +1 for dishwasher amd then 2-3h in the freezer.

    Enjoy with mates - alone you risk an overdose of unbelievably tasty nectar

    Abe

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  6. I've tried this, and as a poor-man's salmiakkikossu I guess it works, but the real thing is just a bit more syrupy and herbal in flavour, so I personally mix it with a bit of Jägermeister before I drink it.

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  7. http://weiss.www8.estugo.de/Lasse/suesswaren/lakritz/tuete/lakrisal3er.jpg

    You'll have to try these! Perfect for the movies. Salty, hard, delicious!
    LAKRISAL!

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  8. Salmiac lover from Finland.October 18, 2010 at 10:01 AM

    You should definitely try the best Salmiakki in existence: Salt pastiller! Or as I call it: Pingviinisalmiakki ('Penguin salmiac'). The super salmiakki, which you just tried, is the second best. Lakrisal is also good.

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  9. But this is actually drinkable, compared to the combination of, say, vodka and Habanero.

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  10. A shortcut to paradise is to mix the pepper candy with a dash of water. Bring to a boil while stirring, and the candy should dissolve straight away. Then you let it cool down before mixing it with the vodka :)

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  11. Judging by that plate, are you sure you didn't put some asphalt in there by mistake?

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  12. I'd like to have a video documentary of this review. Also prepare another bottle just in case you like it...

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  13. Shots with beer, dude.

    Actually, that's how you should have your salmiakki in general. With beer. Basic fizzy lager, there's no way you can actually taste the delicate nuances of a fine microbrew when you're scorching your tastebuds with ammonia.

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  14. That is a terrible waste of Grey Goose. You could do the same with a bottle of Popov or whatever and it'd be almost impossible to tell the difference.

    As off-topic as it is for this blog, I demand that you try the same with a packet of Fisherman's Friend. Fishie - The Vodka Shot For When You Have A Horrible Cold.

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  15. GO! GO! GO!

    Just a warning, this is the worst conversational drink in the world. You just keep dunking them down and after a while all your consonants have dissolved in the alcohol and your speech is difficult to comprehend. HOWEVER, if you have a drinking partner or two, they will probably be in the same state and you can understand each other. :D

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  16. Just to point out: that is not real Turkin pippuri, but rather a generic brand copy of it. "Tulinen pippuri" means "fiery pepper" and not "Turkish pepper". Tastes pretty much the same, though.

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  17. For those about to drink, we salute you.
    This seems like it could be really vicious-tasting. I wish you the best of luck and look forward to seeing the aftermath.
    I think the suggestion to make a video of the experience is an excellent one.

    I have a feeling I'm the only Finn who doesn't like salmiakki. (But even I drink salmiakkikossu).

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  18. And the best part of the experience is when you've had few too many and start vomiting it only to taste the lovely flavour again in your mouth.

    You HAVE to try Leijona Terva-Salmiakki. It has a very genuine taste of salmiakki and TAR! Love that combination. I guarantee it will blow your mind.
    http://www.karkkigalleria.fi/media/catalog/product/cache/1/image/5e06319eda06f020e43594a9c230972d/f/i/file_6_7.jpg

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  19. Now that you have Salmiakkivodka I suggest first trying it raw, then make a shot with half salmiakkivodka and half baileys cream liquor.

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  20. Jari Sillanpää invented the drink
    (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Salmiakki_Koskenkorva)
    so i think it's appropriate to listen some of (s)he's songs while you try the drink. You'll find some from spotify. That will complete the suffer.

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  21. You should totally take videos in which you give shots of this to innocent unsuspecting bystanders!

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  22. Can you please taste TERVAPIRU-candies? It's not just an ordinary salmiakki, it has a flavour of TAR in it! They are my favorite salmiakki candies, and I want to hear your opinion of them. You must buy them from Kalpis or Makuuni, because they are not sold either in bags or in boxes. One needs to buy them as "irtokarkki". :)

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  23. "Now that you have Salmiakkivodka I suggest first trying it raw, then make a shot with half salmiakkivodka and half baileys cream liquor." That's a shot called "mummon tossut" (translation grandma's slippers or something like that). Remember couple of ice cube in whiskey glass. Fan-fucking-tastic, i love it!

    And Im sorry, have to be a bit of pilkunnussija. Koskenkorva and vodka isn't the same thing, they don't even taste the same. Koskenkorva and the real Turkish Peppers, thats the way I would do it home-made. Mutta jokainen taaplaa tyylillään. Anyhow, when you are drunk enough, u won't notice the difference between those two versions. ;)

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  24. The weekend's almost over, did you try to drink this stuff yet? Enquiring minds want to know!

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  25. That salmiak is kind of bulk product. You should use Turkish Peppers (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tyrkisk_Peber) instead. Difference in salmiak is minor, but difference in side-flavors are notable. Turkish Peppers give much more candy-like flavor for vodka.

    +1 for dishwasher and freezer (salmiak is soluble in room temperature too, but only if you shake the bottle once in a while.)

    Recipe worth of testing for real salmiak lovers:
    2 bags of Turkish Peppers
    1 bottle of Gordons Dry Gin
    Wash, freeze and enjoy =).

    ->Z

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  26. So this weekend i got board and figured i would give this a try. I had the beer ready to chase expecting the worst and i have to say this was not bad at all. Two friends and I finished off the bottle. I might even make it again.

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  27. One thing to remember about this "flakpanzer juice" is that salmiak really covers the taste of ethanol (which you can probably very well believe by now) so one might not realize just how strong alcohol they're drinking. That's exactly why it was deemed so dangerous to the Finnish kids in the 90's.

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  28. It's good with beer, but shouldn't be drank by itself. Maybe one salmiakki snaps and then one tequila cause salmiakki snaps is too.. mmm... yummy? icky? Forgot the right word, but you'll understand especially if you drink it without freezing it. And I know this page is about salmiakki, but tar liqueur snaps are better. Sorry.

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  29. I think it should be ready to drink by now? :)

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  30. You haven't started drinking, i hope? or have you,.. Alex the Alcoholist?

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  31. another 2 month hiatus? sigh

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  32. They tried and died

    FF

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  33. Have you tried apteekin salmiakki?
    You can buy from the pharmacy salmiak un little bags, the salmiak has it's well known salmiak-shaped form. They have exposed some but you shouold ask for the real.
    As i was kid we used to buy apteekin salmiakki as powder in these little sachets. It was dark brown and smelled heavenly strong.
    -Later tehy selled in R-kioski also powder, almost white, but it was not so good (=sweeter and not so strong). Perhaps you could find it still in some independent kiosk on the country side where they sell loose candy, it could be in plastic tube, natural white powder in a plastic tube, perhaps red cap on it... -
    But back to old days ;) so we poured a little of this precious brown powder straight from heaven on our little (perhaps not so clean) palms and licked it slowly savoring it's taste. those days you saw often kids with black corners of the mouth.
    By the way, have you tasted the salmiak ice creams? Totally black? :D

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  34. The BEST of the Best salmiakki is and stays Väyrysen naama! There is empiric test material about this fenomen :) Perhaps it's liquorice too I don't mind, it's the only salmiak, in which you really but really get addicted. Ok salmiakki makes you always a little addicted and you want more like Aakkos-salmiakki, the ones with A,B,C but this Väyrysen naama (a fat round face, perhaps in stores for loose candy or kioski) really makes everybody badly addicted. When you have eaten all you have to run to the kiosk and buy them all, it's insane! The kids eat everything away and demand for more. You torment yourself until next day when the kiosk is open again OMG!!!!!

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  35. vetääkääs se sotku jo pleksiin prkl!! :)

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  36. That header picture of yours has a bag of original Turkish Pepper in it. Blue bag. I think it reads "Tyrkish Peber".

    I also second the suggestions to try "Fisu" (Fishermans Friend + vodka) and "Tervanapsu" (tar flavoured candy + vodka).

    Apteekkisalmiakki (apothecary salmiak) is the oldest form of this candy (very strong as well). Ammonium chloride and liquorice were used in medicinal drugs to mask its flavours and later sold (around 40's or 50's) as candy.
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Salty_liquorice

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  37. In Finland you can get anything with salmiac flavour: McDonalds ice cream with ground Turkish Pepper, Salmiac Coca Cola etc. When big brands come to Finland it seems that they simply must turn something to salmiack.

    You can make a salmiack cake:
    normal sugar cake with vanilla creme, chopped salmiack chokolate and smashed Turkish Pepper filling with melted liquerice toffee, butter, smashed Turkish Pepper and whipped cream topping.

    Oh, and I just made grilled steak with smashed potatoes and Turkish Pepper dressing.

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  38. are you saving this bottle for the christmas? ah, it's going to be one memorable christmas party for sure!

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  39. c'mon! drink it already! the whole world is waiting!

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  40. It should mature for one week in room temp. After one week, the flavour doesn't gain more.

    Did this alot when I was under drinking age here in Sweden.

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  41. In late 70`s and in the early 80`s there was salmiac candy called Ärjy. Nowadays we don`t have candies which were so strong that after few pieces began your stomach work and had to run to the toilet.
    And in these days we had a competition; "are you a man or a boy". In liquer stores was a liquer called Minttu-Suklaa, mix of mint and choklade (15% vol). Terrible sweet greenbrown mix. So you had first eat a hole bag of Ärjy and then drink a bottle (0,75 L) of Minttu-Suklaa. Well, you might guess how it ended.

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  42. When I last time changed job to do something different, my previus collagues whipped out party on near pub/restaurant. Last thing I can remember was a tray full of Salmiakkikossu -shots aimetd at me. I really don't know how many of those did I drank, but when I woke up I swear that blue ooze emerged from my body.

    It took three days until I was fit to collect my personal things, which were in restaurant's storage room. I weren't allowed to entry previous employers building.

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