Friday, September 3, 2010

Dracula Piller

Now let's get one thing straight. Just because this is my second Salmiyuck! post this week does not mean that I'm starting enjoy it. If anything, I'm becoming more and more impressed at the things you Finns will not only voluntarily put in your mouth, but actually spend money on. Like, say, the Dracula Piller.

  



The artfully designed packaging is mostly transparent, allowing you to get a good glimpse of this candy before committing to it. Of course, I'd imagine that's to the manufacturer's detriment, as the Dracula Piller look about as appetizing as a rock.

Upon opening the package, I quickly discovered that Dracula Piller doesn't smell as bad as it looks. It smells worse. The best I could describe it: a mixture of burnt styrofoam, rotted wood, and smelling salts.

As for the taste... putting one of the candies on my tounge was just like licking a 9-volt battery, except more intense. This was the second salmiakki that proved that salt (or whatever unholy substance they have on these ones) can indeed be painful.

You'll notice the white candy to the right, which is the result of running it under water and scrubbing-off the coating. That, of course, I was able to eat... but I'm pretty sure that doesn't count. With the coating, these are clearly inedible and quite caustic.

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Update! I just returned from the Cleveland Oktoberfest, where I offered up the  Salmiac Challenge to some friends. Whoever could go the longest without spitting out the Dracula Piller would get the two-dollar bill that I laid out on the table (washed out in the picture).


About eight took up the challenge, and within seconds someone nearly vomited. "I know you said these were bad," he told me, "but I didn't think anything could be that bad!" And one after another, others dropped out and chugged their beers in hopes of killing the offensive taste.

But somehow, three people made it through the challenge: none of them Finns, but all of them women. And frankly, one thing that was particularly disturbing was that one of them was my wife! Had I known I'd married into a gene pool with such defective taste buds, perhaps I would have reconsidered. Let's just hope that broken 'buds are a recessive trait.

No matter, with the three-way tie, I forked over two more twos to the "winners". They certainly earned it.

66 comments:

  1. The Dracula Pillers are delicious! You are clearly Wrong(tm).

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  2. One of my fave salmiakkis <3

    Have you tried super salmiakki yet? If not, let me know and ill mail you a bag. Loving the blog!

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  3. Om-nom-nom.. And the clar part is for sowing, that the "pills" are brown, nor red. 'caouse there are those kinds too.. ;)

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  4. Ah, I remember my first time when I tasted Dracula candy. I was about 9 and I got one from my brother's friend. I popped on in and after hot came out I ended up running circles around our house to cope with it :)

    Now, pepper candies are just enjoyment

    FF

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  5. OOOOH! That's my favorite candy! Since I was a wee kid. Even now'a'days (I'm 30) I still eat a bag too often.

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  6. Yes. You Are Clearly and very plainly.. just wrong!

    Dracula pills are the best things since sliced bread.

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  7. I can't wait when you try the original Turkinpippuri. :) That is something that I always offer to foreigners, only one French girl have liked them, rest of them...well you know. :D

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  8. Hmmm. I just got a terrible urge to go to the store and buy some salmiakki to complete my evening.

    I have offered foreigners salmiakki - with pretty funny results. Salmiakki is the one thing I really missed abroads.

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  9. These are delicious! They don't sell them in bags here (Norway), I thiink, but we have something similar, and I love them. Lots of stores used to carry these in their "assorted candy" aisle, though, where you mix lots of different stuff of your choice from boxes into a bag.

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  10. As kids today say, this is the shit.

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  11. That was interesting contests! Please do more these as that way more people can taste salmiakki and you're part of spreading the message of joy. ;-)

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  12. The best ones on your tables are the dark blue Turkin pippuri, aka TYRKISK PEBER, oh, you'll enjoy those! Looking forward to reading your review on those. Those, and old apteekin salmiakki are the epitome of salmiak candies.

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  13. In the eighties when i was a wee lad with my friends it was quite a feat to put one or several these in ones mouth without running some water on them first. Good days.

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  14. And when you do test Turkin pippuri, I DARE you to bite through one. You'll miss these Draculas. :)

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  15. These are The Legendary salmiakkis, they have been around for decades. Top ten of purity. These are actually easier to eat if you chew it first. Usually it is vice versa.

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  16. Mmmm I love those <3 Keep up good work!

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  17. I sent some salmiakki for a Scottish friend of mine. He absolutely hated them, but his mother not only ate them, but actually LIKED the taste of salmiakki :)
    To be honest, they were only the mildest kind of "salmiakki aakkoset" that are mostly liquorice anyway.
    For christmas I'm sending him the worst I mean the best kind of Tyrkish Pebers :)

    Loving your blog. It's fun to see how the taste of bliss can be the worst kind of hell for foreigners.

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  18. They are quite strong at first, but the aftertaste is delicious! One of my favorite Salmiakkis.

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  19. If you want to try something from the other end of the salmiakki spectrum, try Jymy. They are small grey "pills" that come in a yellow-and-black box and has a sweet, lemony taste. It has very little salmiac flavor.

    BTW at the top of Dracula pills bag it says "Julma salmiakki" which means "cruel salmiac". Very appropriate, no?

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  20. The only problem I have with these, is that the coating wears off too quick, and then it has hardly any taste at all.

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  21. 'tounge' should be spelled 'tongue' in the passage "As for the taste... putting one of the candies on my tounge was just..."

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  22. http://www.lahjamaailma.fi/epages/Lahjamaailma.sf/fi_FI/?ObjectPath=/Shops/Lahjamaailma/Products/6416554048117

    These are pretty awesome, as one can tell by the looks!

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  23. I myself like these alot, and as someone posted above, they are actually milder if you chew them instantly.

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  24. Goddamit, DRACULA PILLER is the best salmiakki candy there is. And this is no opinion, it's a fact.

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  25. TIMO, please don't encourage him. This is not a candy that you should spread on to loved ones. Enemies maybe. If you're really really pissed at them.

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  26. You're getting my mouth watery. Gonna score some dracula pillz on my next trip to the grocery!

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  27. Oh my, I just love these Dracula Pillers!

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  28. Dracula Pillers are among my top 3 or so favourite salmiac candy! I love them!

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  29. Dracula Pillers are amazing candy to be enjoyed with love and care. I bet the hipster girl next to you ( on the right from you in the picture ) loved 'em!

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  30. If the Dracula Pillers were completelty made of the brown stuff instead of it being only the outer crust, it would be my favourite salmiac candy.

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  31. Danes love salmiakki - they make all the good stuff ;)

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dracula_Piller

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  32. Oh man.. I just loveee these Dracula Piller candies. I like taking a bunch of them and just working trough the pain to the sweet inside :)

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  33. Oh, yeah. These are definitely awful. Still, I have to buy some like once every two years because I crave the awful. It's bizarre.

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  34. awesome blog man.. did you ever try the milk and salmiakki combo? it's pure bliss, give it a go!

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  35. don't you dare diss dracula piller! malaka! >:[

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  36. You have clearly married superior genetic material! The question is - why did she ever settle for you? :)

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  37. These are my favorite candies. Your blog sucks. HATER!

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    Replies
    1. Haters gonna hate, draculas are my fave too! <3

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  38. I happened to see those in a shop today, so I grabbed one bag. I think I've tried now four new kinds of salmiaks based on your recommendations. You should consider creating an advertising agency. ;)

    P.S. These ones taste good. :)

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  39. My facourite stuff! When I had my military service 2003-2004 we called those candies "The Officer Pills". No other than an officer or officer trainee could fill their mouth with those delicious little things <3<3

    Mmm.. got to go and buy a pack as soon as I get out from the office :)

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  40. LOL....I ordered these as a joke to spring on my colleagues at work. To quote one of the people who tried it "This tastes like somebodies foot" LOL...Nobody was able to stand it for more than about 5 seconds

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  41. oh please, these are so mild.
    but really good too.

    one of my all time favorites.

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  42. The Dracula Piller bites you in your tongue.

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  43. I love how you describe it being like licking 9 volt battery. Some batteries leak ammoniumchlorid when they are old and that is essentially what salmiakki is made of. Don't try it though, batteries leak some other (even more) harmful substances.

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  44. These are my favourites too.

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  45. There is salt, of course in salmiakki, but the main taste comes from the ammonium chloride, which is made chemically. We even made ammonium chloride one time on our chemistry class. In finnish that is called ammoniumkloridi. Heres more information about it (in english):

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ammonium_chloride

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  46. Hi!
    Those are my favorite candies :D

    I just find your blog today, becouse here in Finland they wrote about you in our Iltasanomat- newspaper: http://www.iltasanomat.fi/videot/ruoka-juoma/jenkkimies-teki-salmiakkikossua---juotava-vain-kovassa-kannissa/vid-1288401097300.html

    Keep on going man!

    -Tuija

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  47. I would kill for bag of these, candy of the kings!!!!

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  48. Why do all non-Finnish people say that salmiakki is a bad-tasting?
    Are we Finnish people are really weird when the freaks love salmiakki?!

    Minä OIKEASTI rakastan salmiakkia! <33

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  49. kim from finlandJuly 14, 2011 at 1:12 AM

    this is my favuorite salmiakki of all time! 3 candys at the same time to mouth and start sucking!

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  50. These are SUPER.

    The best part is going through a whole bag in a short time. After around half a bag, the palate is tingling even between eating them, and after the whole bag, you can peel off skin with your tongue.

    Pure bliss :)

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  51. These are the best. Only bad thing is that they taste so good that you cant stop. Before you notice you have wounded your tong. But eaven with an bleeding tong you just have to get one more.

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  52. These are great. Strong taste do not last very long.

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  53. I wonder if finnish people are somehow different from others. I seriously love salmiac candies. Maybe im weird. Oh well, we have sauna too, and other people think it's weird. DRACULA PILLER = the best candy ever ;d

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  54. Just have to say, I LOVE DRACULA PILLERS. Maybe one of the best salmiakki candies ever.

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  55. dracula pillers are good!! from finland :)

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  56. I´d love to lick the powder off every single Dracula Pill in the world.

    I notice everything you´ve lalbeled "caustic" or "inedible" are my favorites. Funny!

    Have you tried Lakrisal yet? Possibly the best salty licorice in the world!

    :O)

    Anne, Finland

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    1. Lakrisal kicks ass! I used to steal them from my father's stash when I was little. He tried to hide them in his car, but I found them, and ate them all :) I used to think they stopped making them, but I was happily surprised to see them at stores again a while ago. Lakrisal <3

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  57. We used to buy these from a small store near our summer cabin when I was a kid (8-15). They are great and especially when you put more than 1 in to your mouth at a time. After a while the burning taste fades away :(.

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  58. Wow, these are my absolute favourite when it comes to salmiac. But as said before the taste wears off too quickly I LOVE the coating.
    Have to say that when I'm bored enough I go to youtube to watch videos of foreing people trying to eat salmiac :D

    Greetings from Finland.

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  59. Wooh, i'm actually eating Dracula Pillers right now and i LLLLOVE them! Try putting 10 in your mouth, it feels good, man.

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