Katjes Lakrtiz Batzen

I was at a German store a little while back in search of some good candy like Kinder Bueno, Hanuta, and of course, Brause-Stäbchen. But as I browsed the confections, I was surprised to see my least-favorite Finnish export. Then again, I suppose it makes sense with Katjes being a German company and all.

   

The spongy texture of the Lakritz Batzen seemed welcoming, while the crusty white particulate was daunting. Sugar or salt was the question on my mind as I popped a couple candies in my mouth… and to my delight, it was mostly sugar. In fact, I’m not even sure where the salt was; it was subtle, at best. So much so that I had to double check the ingredients on the back of the package.

The listing confirmed that it was, indeed, officially salmiac, and despite this I still rate the Lakrtiz Batzen as halfway decent.

Synkka Salmiakki

I can do hot. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not like one of those crazy people who rub peppers in my eyes, but I can handle the heat. Well, usually…

And of course, what you’re not seeing in the video (as it’s a solid 15 minutes after I tried these candies) is that my mouth is still on fire. These things pack some punch, much more than the hottest Tyrkisk Peber that I’ve tried so far. They’re fun, but certainly not fit for human consumption. Therefore, I must rate them caustic.


UPDATE: I shared some of the Synkka with my friends tonite. Unfortunately, I only realized it would have made a great video after it was too late. Suffice if to say, that their experience was quite a bit worse than mine; after spitting them out, they desperately tried to rid themselves of the heat with ice cubes. This will definitely make for a good social candy -- I'll try to capture some from some other suckers friends later.

Marabou Black Saltlakrits

You have to be seriously committed to ruin something as delightful as chocolate. The world has certainly been trying to with unholy mixtures like chocolate-covered ants, chili-pepper chocolate, and chocolate-infused hotdogs, but thus far chocolate has been able to withstand the assaults. It’s even been able to withstand the ultimate in unpalatableness: the Finns and their salmiac.

At least, thus far. Perhaps Marabou’s BLACK will finally ruin chocolate.

What was especially exciting about the Marabou was the texture of the liquorice pieces. They weren’t soft or chewy as I had expected, but were crunchy – almost like little pieces of hard candy. But unlike some candy-infused chocolate, these pieces didn’t stick or linger around much after the chocolate. That, in and of itself, is a rare treat.

The initial saltiness of the salmiac offered a pleasant balance to the sweet chocolate. It reminded me of something that’s actually good, like a chocolate covered pretzel. But boy-oh-boy does that salt creep back. Perhaps this is a consequence of eating nearly half of the bar in one sitting, but even as I type this review with a glass of water in hand – a solid thirty minutes or so after indulging in the “treat” – I still feel parched. And a little ill from eating so much chocolate.

It’s because of this that I must rate the Marabou as almost-enjoyable. Perhaps in small doses it’d be enjoyable, but “small doses” and “chocolate” make as much sense as, say, “salmiac” and “chocolate”.